diff --git a/src/Avalonia.Controls/Generators/ItemContainerGenerator.cs b/src/Avalonia.Controls/Generators/ItemContainerGenerator.cs
index 57ed67b508..f2b105c901 100644
--- a/src/Avalonia.Controls/Generators/ItemContainerGenerator.cs
+++ b/src/Avalonia.Controls/Generators/ItemContainerGenerator.cs
@@ -7,8 +7,8 @@ namespace Avalonia.Controls.Generators
     /// </summary>
     /// <remarks>
     /// When creating a container for an item from a <see cref="VirtualizingPanel"/>, the following
-    /// method order should be followed:
-    /// 
+    /// process should be followed:
+    ///
     /// - <see cref="IsItemItsOwnContainer(Control)"/> should first be called if the item is
     ///   derived from the <see cref="Control"/> class. If this method returns true then the
     ///   item itself should be used as the container.
@@ -19,9 +19,29 @@ namespace Avalonia.Controls.Generators
     /// - The container should then be added to the panel using 
     ///   <see cref="VirtualizingPanel.AddInternalChild(Control)"/>
     /// - Finally, <see cref="ItemContainerPrepared(Control, object?, int)"/> should be called.
-    /// - When the item is ready to be recycled, <see cref="ClearItemContainer(Control)"/> should
-    ///   be called if <see cref="IsItemItsOwnContainer(Control)"/> returned false.
     /// 
+    /// NOTE: If <see cref="IsItemItsOwnContainer(Control)"/> in the first step above returns true
+    /// then the above steps should be carried out a single time; the first time the item is 
+    /// displayed. Otherwise the steps should be carried out each time a new container is realized
+    /// for an item.
+    ///
+    /// When unrealizing a container, the following process should be followed:
+    /// 
+    /// - If <see cref="IsItemItsOwnContainer(Control)"/> for the item returned true then the item
+    ///   cannot be unrealized or recycled.
+    /// - Otherwise, <see cref="ClearItemContainer(Control)"/> should be called for the container
+    /// - If recycling is supported then the container should be added to a recycle pool.
+    /// - It is assumed that recyclable containers will not be removed from the panel but instead
+    ///   hidden from view using e.g. `container.IsVisible = false`.
+    ///
+    /// When recycling an unrealized container, the following process should be followed:
+    /// 
+    /// - An element should be taken from the recycle pool.
+    /// - The container should be made visible.
+    /// - <see cref="PrepareItemContainer(Control, object?, int)"/> method should be called for the
+    ///   container.
+    /// - <see cref="ItemContainerPrepared(Control, object?, int)"/> should be called.
+    ///
     /// NOTE: Although this class is similar to that found in WPF/UWP, in Avalonia this class only
     /// concerns itself with generating and clearing item containers; it does not maintain a
     /// record of the currently realized containers, that responsibility is delegated to the
diff --git a/src/Avalonia.Controls/VirtualizingCarouselPanel.cs b/src/Avalonia.Controls/VirtualizingCarouselPanel.cs
index da0ff1eb69..28d6a83309 100644
--- a/src/Avalonia.Controls/VirtualizingCarouselPanel.cs
+++ b/src/Avalonia.Controls/VirtualizingCarouselPanel.cs
@@ -168,7 +168,13 @@ namespace Avalonia.Controls
 
         protected internal override Control? ContainerFromIndex(int index)
         {
-            return index == _realizedIndex ? _realized : null;
+            if (index < 0 || index >= Items.Count)
+                return null;
+            if (index == _realizedIndex)
+                return _realized;
+            if (Items[index] is Control c && c.GetValue(ItemIsOwnContainerProperty))
+                return c;
+            return null;
         }
 
         protected internal override IEnumerable<Control>? GetRealizedContainers()
@@ -264,7 +270,6 @@ namespace Avalonia.Controls
                 if (controlItem.IsSet(ItemIsOwnContainerProperty))
                 {
                     controlItem.IsVisible = true;
-                    generator.ItemContainerPrepared(controlItem, item, index);
                     return controlItem;
                 }
                 else if (generator.IsItemItsOwnContainer(controlItem))
diff --git a/src/Avalonia.Controls/VirtualizingPanel.cs b/src/Avalonia.Controls/VirtualizingPanel.cs
index a95d4f1ffa..ed92f30454 100644
--- a/src/Avalonia.Controls/VirtualizingPanel.cs
+++ b/src/Avalonia.Controls/VirtualizingPanel.cs
@@ -76,6 +76,11 @@ namespace Avalonia.Controls
         /// The container for the item at the specified index within the item collection, if the
         /// item is realized; otherwise, null.
         /// </returns>
+        /// <remarks>
+        /// Note for implementors: if the item at the the specified index is an ItemIsOwnContainer
+        /// item that has previously been realized, then the item should be returned even if it
+        /// currently falls outside the realized viewport.
+        /// </remarks>
         protected internal abstract Control? ContainerFromIndex(int index);
 
         /// <summary>
diff --git a/src/Avalonia.Controls/VirtualizingStackPanel.cs b/src/Avalonia.Controls/VirtualizingStackPanel.cs
index 77268c7831..67ec238ceb 100644
--- a/src/Avalonia.Controls/VirtualizingStackPanel.cs
+++ b/src/Avalonia.Controls/VirtualizingStackPanel.cs
@@ -3,7 +3,6 @@ using System.Collections.Generic;
 using System.Collections.Specialized;
 using System.Diagnostics;
 using System.Linq;
-using System.Reflection;
 using Avalonia.Controls.Primitives;
 using Avalonia.Controls.Utils;
 using Avalonia.Input;
@@ -326,7 +325,17 @@ namespace Avalonia.Controls
             return _realizedElements?.Elements.Where(x => x is not null)!;
         }
 
-        protected internal override Control? ContainerFromIndex(int index) => _realizedElements?.GetElement(index);
+        protected internal override Control? ContainerFromIndex(int index)
+        {
+            if (index < 0 || index >= Items.Count)
+                return null;
+            if (_realizedElements?.GetElement(index) is { } realized)
+                return realized;
+            if (Items[index] is Control c && c.GetValue(ItemIsOwnContainerProperty))
+                return c;
+            return null;
+        }
+
         protected internal override int IndexFromContainer(Control container) => _realizedElements?.GetIndex(container) ?? -1;
 
         protected internal override Control? ScrollIntoView(int index)
@@ -578,7 +587,6 @@ namespace Avalonia.Controls
                 if (controlItem.IsSet(ItemIsOwnContainerProperty))
                 {
                     controlItem.IsVisible = true;
-                    generator.ItemContainerPrepared(controlItem, item, index);
                     return controlItem;
                 }
                 else if (generator.IsItemItsOwnContainer(controlItem))